Apology – Jonathan Ross

The Editor would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Jonathan Ross, humourist, writer and presenter of Film 2001, and to assure all our readers that he had no part in sabotaging the Apollo 13 mission, thus endangering the lives of America’s finest space astronauts. A protracted legal exchange has revealed that Mr Ross is fully able to account for his whereabouts at the time when the oxygen canisters were loosened, an alibi which can be fully substantiated by his former maths teacher, Miss James.

We therefore fully acknowledge that Mr Ross was not a CIA operative at the time of the mission and offer our unreserved apologies for any inconvenience our story may have caused him, his family or David Baddiel.

Wendy Craig’s involvement in the matter remains open to question, and readers are urged to jump to their own conclusions.