By popular demand, Untitled Document would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Ffion Hague, and to reassure all our readers that she is not a devil woman. Our assertion, in a recent photo-spread, that Mrs Hague eats babies from prams while their mothers are not looking, was made due to poor research. We fully acknowledge that Mrs Hague does not eat human flesh of any age, neither for the purposes of pleasing Satan or because she likes the taste.

We can only offer our fullest and frankest apologies for any distress this misleading statement may have caused Mrs Hague, Mr Hague, or any women with prams who have seen Mrs Hague coming towards them and had an attack of the vapours.