The two men who robbed a small Post Office in the village of Goddenden, Kent, last Thursday may have thought the heist would be easy. And they were right.

For local gent Arthur Beattie, 82, wasn’t about to stand by and let the two masked criminals waltz off with his and his peers’ pension money without putting up a fight. Despite being short of breath and suffering from painful back problems, he stepped in and challenged the desperadoes as they tried to make their getaway, forcing them to beat him round the head with a baseball bat and kick him into unconsciousness before being on their way.

Post Mistress Eileen Shipton, 59, recounts the details of the story.

“I was absolutely scared out of my wits,” she says, shaking visibly as she recalls the fateful day. “I’d put the money in the bag they gave me, and they were about to leave when Arthur walked in, blocking their exit. They shouted at him to get out of the way, but he stood firm, and I’ll never forget what he said. He said ‘What do you think you’re doing, you little sods? You give that money back right now, or I’ll give you what for.’”

“Arthur’s like that,” interjects local mother-of-two Jane Elton, 29. “He’ll always stand up for what he believes is right, despite the fact that he can’t actually do a damned thing about it.”

Shipton goes on to say: “So Arthur’s standing there, bold as you like, waving his fist, and the shorter one smashes him round the head with this bat and the pair of them put the boot in. I’ll bet good money they didn’t expect to have to do that when they came to our little village.”

Local police have praised Beattie for his courage and fortitude in standing up to the robbers.

“Britain needs more men and women like this,” said WPC Shirley Lane. “People who will take a certain kicking for what they believe is right. People who, despite not standing an ice cream’s chance in hell of making the slightest bit of difference, will stick their oar in and get themselves really quite badly hurt in the process. That’s what makes this country great.”

A description of the thieves has been issued along with computerised photo-fit pictures and a warning to members of the public to attempt to apprehend them, even if they are heavily armed or have a pit-bull terrier on a rope.

“You may think you can’t do anything, or that you’ll get hurt, but you need to overcome those fears,” says Lane. “That’s what Arthur Beattie did, and I’m sure we’ll all express our heartfelt thanks for his pointless and futile gesture, if and when he comes out of the coma.”