Last week, Untitled Document alleged that Craig Charles, presenter of Robot Wars and star of cult sci-fi comedy series Red Dwarf, will be appearing in panto this Christmas season in Hastings. Following urgent communications from both Mr Charles’ agent and the White Rock Theatre, Hastings, we understand that this is incorrect, and that no approach has been made by either party.

We hereby offer our apologies to Mr Charles for any distress this statement may have caused him, his agent, or the legions of fan-boys who believe that Dave Lister is a real person.

We also apologise to the people of Hastings for getting their hopes up there for a minute.