A thirty second commercial broadcast during last week’s repeat episode of Friends on Sky One told Dover man Patrick Keenan more than he ever wanted to know about the particular problems faced by women.

The ad, for a new feminine hygiene product, dealt frankly with the problem, the nature of which is familiar to those of the female persuasion everywhere. But for Keenan, who was eating at the time, the information contained therein was a shocking revelation that has left him feeling confused and frightened.

“I was sitting there quite happily, watching Friends, you know that episode where Ross plays rugby, right, and the ad break comes on, and I’m not really paying that much attention,” he recounted. “Then all of a sudden, this soothing but authoritative woman’s voice comes on over a picture of a lady of medium age and starts talking about… about…”

At this point Keenan became too upset to talk, and his wife took over.

“It was an ad for a vaginal moisturiser, that’s all. A perfectly ordinary every day thing. I don’t know what he’s making such a fuss about,” she complained.

Keenan does not accept this, however.

“It’s all right for women, isn’t it. They know about this sort of stuff. But men aren’t equipped to deal with stuff like that,” he said. “It’s not just me. Every man I know could get from one end of his life to the other without ever knowing that 95% of women occasionally suffer irritation and discomfort due to vaginal dryness.”

Other men concur with this. We spoke to Roy Blake, a builder also based in Dover, who told us: “Vaginal what? What do you mean? Oh shit, man, why d’you have to tell me that?”

Keenan is still considering sending a formal letter of complaint to the manufacturers of the feminine moisturiser, as well as the Advertising Standards Authority.

“I realise that the makers of [the product] need to make women aware of the stuff, but isn’t there some way they could keep it away from us men?” he asked. “Like put the commercial on during something like Oprah, which only women watch. Or just stick to magazine adverts in Cosmopolitan or whatever.”

Rosemary Newlands, marketing director for Femidyne, the company which produces the moisturiser, defended both the content of the commercial and its placing within the schedules.

“We are a public limited company with a responsibility to our shareholders, and we have to reach as many women as possible with our product. Our market research indicates that a large part of our target demographic watch the show Friends, and we would be remiss if we did not run our ad at that time,” she told reporters. “We believe that we must be matter-of-fact in order not to appear patronising to women who, after all, have probably experienced some dryness at some point in their lives. If this offends some men, then we apologise.”

She added: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a yeast infection, and it is time for me to insert an anti-fungal tablet in my vagina.”